If you think that you will ever be ready to be a dad, then you’re lying to yourself. My fiancee is secretive enough to have hidden the good news from me for almost two months, but I later found out and the feeling is one that I cannot associate with anything else. The pride is just immeasurable.
But, joy and happiness aside, one thing I noted is that you can never be ready to be a dad. I had seven months to get my shit together but Junior still got me by surprise. The period leading up to Junior joining our world was rather funny and ill-planned. I had just gotten a job in the city and shifting from my previous location had done real damage to my finances. My new job was super demanding that I had to let go of my freelance gigs which contributed so much to my financial stability. But now, for once in my life, I had the certainty of a paycheck at every end of the month.
In a few months, I looked forward to being a dad and I wanted to rock that daddy world but I underestimated the hustle. I thought it would just be about saving five thousand of my paycheck every month but I had never lived in the city before and I never accounted for the miscellaneous spending that came with living in the city. My fiancee having lived in the city all her life had tried warning me but we lived in different apartments at the time so there was no way she could enforce what we agreed upon. I have always been a big spender and she kinda had a way of controlling that but with her living away, there was little she could do.
Nine months down the line and I’m still trying to find my way around the big city. Well, I had managed to save a few coins but that would not get us through. But eventually, we had managed to get the basics done though there was something we had delayed doing medical insurance.
Most people, we included, have a belief that everything will go smoothly. It’s okay to believe that but it’s also not okay. It made me lazy in my strategizing. Things didn’t turn out as I had hoped. They went far from my expectation that at some point I lost hope. This is the worst feeling. I have had better times in life in terms of financial stability and connections in the system but this was nowhere near.
I had thought I was ready but I was very far from it. Eventually, we left the hospital a week later with our baby boy and I had learned a ton of lessons.
My advice to prospective fathers would be, brace for impact. You might think you are ready for what’s coming but you’re not. But don’t panic, you’re built for this so God will provide you with the strength to be a gentleman when your fiancee needs it. You will never be ready to be a dad but you have what it takes to prove yourself worth it. Stay tuned to more on the family issue. Follow my conversation on Twitter here.