Why did she leave me? Each day, I convince myself that she left so that I can learn. DO I believe it? Well, I’m not sure. But it helps me move through my days. How did it all unfold?
It was my third day on the job. Having settled in my comfortable contained cubicle, I pinched my left arm to confirm that it was the right position to be at. It was a favor to secure an internship at the Sense 101 Life Club. Each aspiring life coach I have ever recognized secretly admired to acquire the most adorable lifestyle. Move around the world as well as fathom about the colorful pocket that exists in it. Ideally, I believed that I had a point to make my parent proud or rather surprise her. I dreamt for such a moment and truly I thought this was the time to shine.
When I heard my phone ring, I thought it was one of my buddies calling to mess with me. But it was my dad informing me of my mother’s heart attack. She never made it to the hospital. Every memory we’d ever had flashed in front of my eyes. I wanted to pass out and wake up in a world with my mum on it. But that did not seem likely.
I discovered three ideologies she would have wished me to contemplate and apply in life. To begin with, I have to stay firm on my own feet. Despite our parent’s love, they can never be there for us each time. Therefore, we have to make job interviews and maximize our abilities in the workplace without their presence. In some moments, we must be in a position to express our bravely, even if we are less brave and how our potentials.
Besides, I can testify the uniqueness of co-dependence and love. It is unique to locate someone who can offer support and love as compared to needing someone to offer support and love at the same time. With my mum having left, I was also in need of a sounding board. But what I really needed was a moment to evaluate myself and make logical assessments. Perhaps if I am unable to reach rational decisions with the experience i have gained, then I am at risk of losing everything else.
There and then I understood the memories we acquire are, maybe, the only thing that we cannot lose. Can I miss the moments we had with mum? Each moment I will. What’s the most adorable thing I can do in such moments? Perhaps, I can evaluate the memory’s suitcase we had, select my favorite experience, explain about it, make notes about it, or dream about it. But now I believe that she left me so that I can learn.