I haven’t written about my journey through parenthood in a while. First, I lost this domain then I lost my job and freelancing got intense because the bills won’t wait for no man, you know. But now that I have almost everything figured out I can get back to the weekly updates like the good old days.
Being a dad is an interesting journey, probably the most interesting journey I have ever partaken in. The only constant is the love a dad has for his son or daughter. A dad’s love is rarely acknowledged especially in contemporary society, but we love unconditionally and selflessly either way. However, there have been various lessons through this journey. I have already shared so much through my past series on being and becoming a dad. This was during the early days of being a dad when everything was so new and extremely fascinating.
I think the most happens when the children are old enough and have developed a cognitive aspect of their livelihood. More than a year and a half later, I have learned so much about parenting. One thing I acknowledge is that learning between a parent and child is mutually inclusive. As my child grows I learn from him as he learns from me. But what is the main thing I have learned about parenthood and being a dad?One thing I acknowledge is that learning between a parent and child is mutually inclusive. As my child grows I learn from him as he learns from me. Click To Tweet
The most important thing I have learned is how to let go. Most first-time parents are victims of overparenting and being overprotective. Before you start judging me harshly, I understand that as a parent, the primary responsibility is protecting the child from all harm. But again, overdoing it often spoils children instead of providing an environment where they learn crucial survival skills. Probably you’re wondering how I learned about letting go.
Well, I probably read about everything and parenting was no exception. I consult several certified parenting blogs which I will share comprehensively in a future post so please lookout. From these blogs, I’m constantly learning from experts as well as other parents based on their advice and experiences respectively. The key takeaway was to let go and allow children to grow up.
Come to think of it, I was always there since the first day. I have always been paranoid to the extent I never allowed my son to sleep alone. Mind you he rarely falls because my wife and I are always watching him. This is one aspect we haven’t been able to let go of. Every time he trips we are always there to the extent of him being arrogant and throwing himself from the coach because we are always there to catch him.
Letting go is challenging but I’m gradually learning to let my son be his own man. Get some bruises and learn that some stunts he pulls off on the coach can inflict pain. However, I control the environment by reducing the danger and chances of bad injuries. But I’m no longer as paranoid as I was about him walking around the house fearing he would trip, fall and get hurt. I embraced letting him grow up.
Last week I got to babysit for a few hours. I’m always babysitting and there’s nothing special about that. But last week I noticed several things. The first thing is that my wife does so much that I might have been taking for granted. Well, we preferred bringing up our kids together for the first two years while simultaneously managing our careers before getting a nanny for various reasons.
Despite daddy love and daddy time, I suck at feeding him. I learned that no matter how much we share these tasks, there are some tasks that she will always do better than me. We got out of the house and threw around the ball for a few minutes because he can’t play football yet. His mum definitely can’t play football with him, but I sure as hell can’t feed him as she does either.
She can bathe him with minimum or no fuss. However, my case is different because by the end of the bathe we are both wet from head to toe. But we are all happy and that’s all that matters. We have different roles and we are both for these roles respectively no matter the cost.
I learned that every parent has a designated role in the child’s life. Probably you might not agree with me because some kids are raised by one parent and turn out fine. But then we can also both agree that both parents are crucial and have different roles. But one thing I have learned is that each parent plays a different role better than the other.
It is easy to learn from one’s actions rather than from one’s words. I have always known this principle and kept it close to me somewhere at the back of my mind. But I never thought it would catch with me this fast. Parenthood is not about telling a child what to do but showing them what to do. Like any person, I have picked some bad habits over the years. One is my tendency to chew on a toothpick especially when I’m nervous. It becomes scary when my child takes up the habit especially when he’s thing young. It begs the question, “what else is he learning from my actions?”
It makes me rethink all the bad habits I have picked along. A few years ago, my mum had warned me about this habit but I never paid so much attention to address it. Now, addressing it is not an option but something I must do. I have learned that from parenthood experience that the best mode of teaching is through apprenticeship. Showing my child how it’s done rather than telling him how it’s done.
Succinct on Parenthood
We have different perceptions and approaches to parenthood. Existing parents have almost, if not, figured out their parenting styles. Prospective parents are freaking out because they don’t know how to do it. I understand, mainly because I was in your exact position less than two years ago. Now that I have close to two years’ experience, all I can say is, learn how to let go.Allow your child to be a child and let him/her enjoy his/her childhood. From experience, I understand that this is hard but this is the only way to ensure they learn how to be themselves. Click To Tweet
This is the only way we avoid raising spoilt kids following their parents’ directives in everything they do. Instead, we should show them the way by being good and responsible role models and allowing them to be themselves.
Do you agree with my views of parenthood? If you don’t please leave your feedback in the comment section and help us (parents) bring up a responsible generation. Otherwise, I wish you successful parenting. Also please follow us on social media (Facebook, Twitter, & Instagram). Until, next time, Adios.