The common definition of therapy is a psychological treatment that treats psychological disorders. Based on this definition most of us are healthy and do not require therapy. It becomes clear when we look back at our various relationships. The first time I read about relationship therapy, I scoffed at the mere thought. I looked back on all my existing relationships, and everything was perfect to my eye. I did not need a relationship therapist.
Yes, I said relationships. It’s not just about romantic relationships but all types of interactions with co-workers and business partners. I am sure that I have the perfect relationship with my wife. However, in the past few months of reading different types of materials and analyzing daily life events, I think visiting a relationship therapist once in a while is necessary.
Our perception of therapy is affected by what society perceives of it. There are various myths and misconceptions about therapy in general. Concerning relationship therapy, the major misconception is that people are going through a rocky relationship which is rarely the case. The first time I proposed to my wife that we needed to see a relationship therapist, she was surprised and confused.
The main mistake we make is seeking help when a problem has manifested and gotten out of hand. In my case, I always advocate for problem mitigation. In the same way, we purchase insurance for risk mitigation, we should see a relationship therapist occasionally to mitigate risks or problems in our fundamental relationships such as marital relationships, workplace relationships, and business partners.
Myths About Therapy
The main myth about therapy is that it’s done to fix problems. People who go to therapy are perceived to be facing problems. My initial perception of relationship therapy was that it’s for people with unfixable relationships problems. I saw it as the last stage before the divorce. However, this is not the case. People in healthy relationships also need to see a relationship therapist.
Another myth is that relationship therapy is about being advised on how to have a happy relationship. I think that this myth is influenced by watching too many movies. In the movies, the therapist sits behind a desk while the patient sits or lay on a couch. This is often not the case. check out other myths about therapy here. Therapy is about being honest with oneself and in the case of relationships being open with each other.
Why do you need a relationship therapist?
There are various reasons why you need a relationship therapist. My main reason is to improve the quality of my relationships. My ideal relationship is where all involved parties are constantly growing and improving their livelihood using the relations. But since people have different personalities and characters, maintaining a high-quality relationship can be challenging. Therapy, therefore, provides a neutral ground to address our differences and eliminate any tension however small. However, there are other reasons among them:
Open and Honest Relationships
Being open and honest with one another is the key to a successful relationship. We may think that simply talking about everything cuts it. The bad news is that it does not. We are constantly lying to ourselves especially when we are faced with our fears.
In the typical relationship setup, we are often lying to ourselves that compromising is necessary. I have severally compromised and tolerated things in the past, things I didn’t believe in. But we all have a limit of tolerance and once that threshold is passed, we snap and do unconventional things. Compromising is the reason most people are cheating and romantic relationships break. Compromising is the reason business partners fall out thus collapsing business empires.
Therapy can help avoid compromising by addressing the small tensions as they build up before they reach mega tonic levels. Relationship therapists facilitate open and honest talk exploring our deepest and darkest fears. I think everyone needs a relationship therapist to ensure open and honest relationships. We might think that we are better off without a therapist. And I understand.
But just be honest about this, how many times have you sat down with your partner and opened up about everything without holding anything back? I know I often held several sensitive things back in the fear of hurting my partner. This applies to romantic and professional relationships.
Enhance your Bond
Opening up and being honest helps strengthen bonds between people. I think of it as stripping. This has changed in contemporary society where people are stripping and walking naked in the streets. It has become the norm. But that’s a story for another day.
Stripping in this case is metaphorical meaning laying out your weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Since you are in a relationship and looking to grow together it is important to embrace each other’s vulnerabilities. Stripping the layers of lies and dishonesty is a deep way of strengthening the bond between people committed to be together or work together.
In romantic relationships, being open and honest strengthens be bond between you and your partner. You have a high-quality relationship not because you are perfect but because you recognize and embrace each other’s imperfection. But the soft life on social media is creating a perception of perfect life rather than helping us embrace the reality of imperfection. I’ll write more about this in a few days so stay tuned.
In professional relationships between business partners or co-workers, addressing work-related vulnerabilities is crucial. It helps people complement each other in the workplace. Being open about your strength and weaknesses helps complement each other. It not only strengthens your bond at work but also improves your productivity and consequently more returns.
People with strong relationships bonds enjoy mutual growth. They are aware of each other’s vulnerabilities and often help each other grow. We all love being part of a successful circle. But this circle is only successful if you are all growing.
However, a significant percentage of relationships are dragging their members down. Wives are not supporting their husbands and husbands are not supporting their wives. Business partners are greedy and selfish focusing on personal gains. This is happening because of individual fears and insecurities.
But relationships shouldn’t be like that. They should be present to help improve people’s lives. This can still be achieved if all the involved parties agreed to have a neutral ground to communicate freely. Visiting a relationship therapist is one way. Some prefer spiritual leaders, and I respect that. Provided it’s a neutral ground with zero bias or judgment.
In conclusion, I began with the same perception most people have. I believed that therapy was for the weak. Relationship therapy was for people facing divorce or separation threats. But that is not the case. I have tried as much as possible to outline the key reasons why you need a relationship therapist.
It is the most effective way of ensuring a happy and successful relationship. Do you agree with my analogy? Please share your thoughts in the comment section. Check out our other article and thoughts on why life has a tendency of turning full circle. Till next time, Adios.