Look after Number One – Thyself.

I first heard this phrase in the TV show, Gotham. One of the key characters was urging her friend to take care of herself or else she’d end up dead. She did not heed this advice and in the end, she died a painful death. I later came across a similar version of the phrase today on an Instagram post. Now that I think about it, everything good in life is a result of looking at oneself. Hence my decision to write about it to emphasize more on the need to look after number one.

We are in the middle of most if not everything that happens in our lives. This makes it appropriate to assert that we’re number one or the patient zero. We feel the effects of all our decisions and actions whether good or bad. This suffices it to say that we are in control of what happens in our lives. If you want to live a good life, it’s all up to you.

If you want people to treat you with respect, you must respect yourself. You can look after number one by learning what it means to respect yourself. The same can be said for love. If you want to be loved, you must love yourself first. I don’t mean being self-centred and selfish, I mean learning to appreciate yourself. Now that we’re addressing love and respect, I believe that it is the easiest the hardest thing.

You see we love and respect people based on what they bring to the table. We know our strengths and weaknesses. As a result, we clearly understand what we’re bringing to the table. We know what can and cannot do. More often we put ourselves on the same pedestal society puts us. We often hate and disrespect ourselves because of our failures or misgivings. What we are unaware of is that by treating ourselves with contempt, we surround ourselves with the same negativity. We spread the same negative aura to the people close to us.

Let’s take a look at life in general. Unless you are capable, you cannot help anybody not even yourself. Most people often have the responsibility of helping various family members. However, the only way this is possible is by taking care of oneself first. When they sacrifice everything for you to go to school, use the opportunity to learn everything humanly possible and create meaningful networks. But most often what do we do? We start complaining about how unfortunate we are which affects our concentration and ability to shine. Our potential is diluted because we fail to look after number one. I believe that this is the reason why there exist successful vs non-successful people and rich vs poor people.

I have been in various tough scenarios in life. The only way I made it out of these situations alive and victorious was because I focused on myself first. I don’t mean to be a motivational writer but let’s face it if you cannot help yourself there’s no way you can help anyone. Look at it this way, if you find yourself drowning the first thing would be to scream for help. I mean that’s how I reacted a month or so ago when I almost drowned in a swimming pool. Now, we were all amateurs learning to swim and I had become overconfident to try the deep end. The only way to save me and anyone who had followed me into the deep end was by focusing on how to get back to the shallow end myself. I don’t know if that counts as an accurate example (ha-ha).

 All in all, I strongly believe that everything falls into place when you learn how important it is to look after yourself (number one). I became a dad when I least expected it. Was I afraid of my new responsibility and anxious about what it had in store? Of course, I was. I have only managed it this far by working on myself first. I began by preparing myself psychologically that I was going to become a dad. That way, I eliminated any negative energy that would hover around me as I took on the responsibility and derail me from being the best dad. I worked on my psychological health first regarding the situation. After helping myself, I was capable of walking with my wife through her mum role as well as my son. You see, it all started with me.

Rather than focusing on the external factors, the key to bliss is focusing on internal factors. This applies to various aspects of life among them motivation. I’m a big fan of intrinsic motivation; a motivation that comes from within because it allows one to focus on themselves before focusing on external factors.

Everything you want to achieve in life starts with you. Take care of yourself and everything else will toe the line. You want to get a job, acquire the knowledge and skills. The most common mentality among majority of the current generation is that in this life, one only needs connections. However, I know for a fact that that’s not always the case. I have referred several people to employers enabling them to get jobs but they had a very short shelf life in these jobs. Why? Because instead of focusing on acquiring the knowledge, skills, and work ethics they misplaced their focus.

As I sum up, kindly focus on looking after number one and you are number one. Focus on thyself and most, if not all things will fall in place. If you found this helpful kindly share this article to create awareness.

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