Some of the worst decisions are made in the name of history. Let’s face it, how many times have you made a bad decision because of history. “We have a history.” This acknowledgement had made me trust people I shouldn’t have and ultimately lost so much in terms of time and money. I have a feeling that you have too. Let’s check out a few relatable scenarios.
Life is working out great for us. Then the pandemic strikes and most of us lose our jobs. We try anything and everything to make ends meet. You start a small business in the neighbourhood and your friend becomes your partner. But they keep screwing up often getting caught with their hand in the cookie jar. After squandering the starting capital and derailing the business severally, you break the alliance and go solo. You work hard and your business starts booming. The friend from ‘back in the day’ pops in seeking a favor.
They pull the history card saying, “we have a history Broman, give me a chance.” So, you give them a chance in the name of history. A month on so later they bail out on you leaving you in a bad situation. The business is on the verge of collapse but you manage to collect the pieces. Can you relate to that? If you do not relate don’t worry, I have a better one.
You met the love of your life while still in high school. You move on to campus and the love story continues. But at this time, there is more to life than just being head over heels. As you progress through campus, younger and prettier/more handsome people are admitted each year. One thing leads to another and the love of your life has a new catch whom he/she keeps away from you.
You have been together for close to six years so you have a history. Let me do you one better; you have already introduced them to your parents so you find it hard to leave probably because you will need to explain to society what happened. But now they have become toxic often swapping partners like Wi-Fi networks. After each incident, they crawl bag apologetic claiming to change. You have seen and heard it all but you always cut them some slack in the name of history.
You often tell yourself, “I know my partner deep down. He/she is a good person.” You are hurting inside but the belief that you have a history prevents you from seeing who they really are. Or probably you know who they are but you hold on hoping they will change because you perceive them based on a past version.
The thing is, people are always changing. We are always going through experiences that mold us into different versions of ourselves. We hope to change for the better but this isn’t always the case. Sometimes we become toxic to the people we care the most about. We may see it or we may not. So, it’s good to know how you affect people and act accordingly.
And to the victim who is always let down by people because they once shared a vision in the past, learn to see beyond that and move on. One thing I have learned painfully is that loyalty has an expiry date. It’s up to us to acknowledge the date and act accordingly. Otherwise, we will continue hurting and being dragged behind by past loyalties that expired long ago.
Holding on to the past is the easiest path to depression, especially in the current society where T stands for tuff. Think of it this way, you are walking your dog in the neighbourhood. I chose the dog because it’s very loyal to the master and vice versa (or so we think). So, you’re walking your dog but for some reason, the dog increases its pace.
It increases its pace gradually until it begins running. You can’t keep up so you topple and it’s now dragging you. Your hands are hurting and so is your body since it’s dragging you through the cemented sidewalk. You are loyal to the dog but its loyalty to you has expired. The relationship is toxic because you’re now hurting. If you continue holding on you will continue hurting.
Learn to know when to let go. Otherwise, rest assured that you will lose more in the name of history than you will ever gain. Do you agree with my analogy? If you do, please share with a friend. Also, check out our e-books section for some amazing e-books.